I haven't written for a while and thats because I have been so busy. I have gone back to work a few days a week and on top of that, I've joined a new band.
It has been crazy busy but at the same time it has been brilliant, putting myself out there and my confidence has grown to no end.
So let me back track a little, when my daughter was 6 months old my husband took 6 months off work. He was in an amazing position, that his work had a shared parental leave scheme so he was eager to take advantage and have some one on one time with our child.
I, at this point started back at work - very slowly at first - one day a week and then perhaps two shifts a week when needed.
For those of you who don't know, I have a few video/picture editing skills which I learnt from my brother so since I've been about 20(ish) I've been able to have flexible media jobs around the drumming gigs I've had, which has been a God send!
So there I was, going back to work and I tell you, the first few weeks were a blur. Every time I was in the office I just thought about my daughter! It was so tough!
Something else I found hard was letting my husband take the reigns a bit - I might make this a separate post but it was definitely a learning curve going from the one who stayed at home all the time to the one who was out working and having to ask my husband about the routine etc..
I was at first working just one day a week but things slowly started to change. My husband for one wondered whether I should work a bit more so he could have some one on one time with the baby and also I started drumming a bit more too.
So, busy is what I did and what I am good at it seems!
I started going to the studio at least one day a week. I upped my shifts to three a week and I also set about looking for a band.
It didn't take long before I found a band looking for a drummer, they were after a drummer who could sing too. I used to sing when I was younger so I thought "why not?!" Singing has always made me feel good so why not challenge myself and try this out?!
I was asked to send a video of me playing. The band were pretty professional with a bunch of gigs planned and paid for so I quickly set about practicing and getting used to singing and playing drums.
To cut a long story short. I got the gig!
Since then its been go go go! I've been working and on top of that fitting in long rehearsals with the band. I have been so incredibly tired some days, working, then practicing and don't even mention the mum guilt that comes with that!! Some days I have barely seem my daughter and I have missed her beyond words!
Juggling working, drumming and being a mum has been hard.
But it has also been a privelidge.
I know I live in a world now, completely different to older generations, where I can go out and work and I can follow my dreams. I am so completely blessed to be in this situation.
I know I wouldn't have been able to do any drumming without the support of my husband and my family.
Everyone has mucked in and helped, its been amazing. THEY have been amazing and still are. I truly don't know what I would do without them.
So the day came when the band had their first gig. I was quite nervous but also really excited to get out there and perform.
My husband was still off work and so he accompanied me to the show helping me with my drum stuff whilst my in-laws looked after the baby.
For one gig, it took a bit of planning, of course way more then it did pre baby. But we all handled it together and what seemed like a big deal changed to something totally easy and manageable.
I feel so so incredibly happy and blessed to be able to drum in a band again and be earning money from it. Nothing will change the fact that when I'm not with my baby I miss her so so much. But I am also motivated to get more drumming work because If I have to work and be away from her, then it's better to be away doing something I really enjoy.
I don't know how things will pan out once my husband goes back to work but I have a feeling if I have enough notice then with a bit of planning and self believe... anything is possible!
The below quote has been ringing in my ears over the past few months. It's an African proverb which I see daily with my daughter. It's not just me and my husband. It's his parents, his brother and my sister-in-law, my parents, my brothers and sisters. Its the neighbours who ask how she's doing and the friends who are often on the end of the phone to share and offer advice.
As my baby approaches one, it definitely feels like we've all done this together, something I didn't expect but am totally and utterly grateful for.
"It Takes A Village to Raise a Child".