I'm really missing playing drums today.
Its been about 2 weeks and I just want to be in my studio, (ironically) breathing in the sweet sweet silence that always precedes any playing that I do.
There's some sort of magic that can take over when you play, a feeling I'm always searching for whenever I sit at the drum kit. A flow, an out of body experience almost. Its like when I play my best, I don't consciously know what I'm doing - it just turns up. I guess a lot of people feel this through other ways - such as sport, yoga and meditation etc
For me, it's when I go with the flow, am purely in the moment and just let go.
At the moment I'm trying to "let go" of the thought that the baby is coming soon. I'm 37.3 weeks and so far my pregnancy has been very similar to that of my sister. Her first born was 38 weeks and her second at 37 so lately I've been driving myself a bit mad thinking that baby is coming any time now. Every ache below my (now flat) belly button, I think "Is it time?" "Is baby ready?!" But then of course the ache goes away and I'm left wondering when I'm going to meet the little one. I guess this is where I need to practice a little more patience :)
Whilst I'm sure the baby will arrive soon, I don't want to stop enjoying being pregnant as I know once this time is over, I wont get it back.
I'll be thrown into a whole new world of even more sleep deprivation, nappies, crying and major responsibility. I also know that it will be the most special time of my life and I am so excited for this next chapter.
So its the same old battle of surrendering to the moment, being grateful for what I have in front of me right now and changing my attitude to that of abundance and not of lack.
Yes, I can't drum right now but what I can do is enjoy the time I have. I can listen to some wonderful music, spend some time cooking and what I've been doing lot of these past two days... is watching Jane Fonda!
I don't know about you but there's something about her that just makes me smile. If I could be like her when I'm older I'd be ecstatic! She's just so cool!
I've been trying my best to relax the past few days and have been fully involved in a relationship with the sofa and Netflix. Currently binge watching the series Grace and Frankie - hence my fondness of The Fonda ;-)
Fonda kind of links in nicely to what my husband and I have been talking about lately - which is that of role models and whether we're going to have any godparents for our children. We've been discussing what qualities we're looking for in men and women that sets them apart and makes them so called "good role models or mentors".
If we're on the Fonda train then I might as well run with it...so what is it I like about her? Well, what I like is how strong she is. Having had a turbulent childhood and faced many hardships throughout her life, she remains strong and positive. I love her sense of style and her sense of humour, she seems like such a classy lady and isn't afraid to tell it like it is.
So if anyone has any advice out there in making this decision about Godparents - I'm all ears. Not wanting to leave out any of my friends, I wonder how to go about choosing the "right" person without upsetting anyone.
I'd like to know how did you make the decision about who to make a godparent?
Also, who are your favourite role models and why?
I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Here's a clip of Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin that always makes me feel extremely grateful to all the amazing girl friends I have in my life:
Until next week...